Dichotomies

For a week now i have been living my "old life" of rock n' roll, and completely neglecting my present life of academia.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops.

Because now i have finals/papers/tests and reading to do in a very compressed period of time. I am not in panic mode yet, but starting Sunday my new home will be the Killam Library and i will get on with the show of attempting to higher learn myself. Although I confess, there have been quite a few moments of higher learning with the rockers too, if you know what I mean.

After a doob down and a quick Guinness (Guinness shouldn't be rushed), I hit the streets. Part of me was worried I might have been a little on the late side, but I knew it wouldn't be the end of the world if I missed Two Hours Traffic. The bar, as expected, was jam packed full of people, but there was some breathing room. Two Hours Traffic was onstage and I was relieved that I would catch a few of their songs and get warmed up for Cuff the Duke.

There's no point squeezing your way up to the bar every 20 minutes for a drink, so I ordered a double G&T and settled in.

It's clear why Joel Plaskett has such a love-on for Two Hours Traffic; they are a power quartet with some impressive chops and they like to play with guitar pedals. However, it became clear soon enough that I was by no means late; by my own standards i was even somewhat early as it dawned on me that i was actually seeing most of the set. They played and played and played. Maybe it was just my mood (anxious for the headliner), but their stuff started to sound samey, and i got a little bored. The crowd was noisy and unfamiliar.

I remember back in the day, I had no problem with shows starting whenever it was that shows started. But the older I get, the more I want advertised start times to resemble actual start times... the ticket said 10pm, I left the house at 11pm, probably reached the bar around 11:20 and I'm sure Two Hours Traffic played for nearly an hour. I was done my double before they were done their set, and I was nursing it. Anyway.

The band changeover happened pretty fast but then there was at least another 30 minutes of dead time. I'm sure this was a strategy employed by the bar in order to have music up until closing time.

As Cuff the Duke was checking the sound, the CD on the PA was skipping and playing at bizarre "this CD is fucked" speeds, which was unnerving and Wayne Petti was visibly upset. I thought this could work in everybody's favour; a pissed of front man can really take his angst out in the tunes and maybe provide that certain je ne sais quois that makes the occasional rock excursion a life changing experience.

Finally finally finally the band hit the stage and the crowd was ready. They broke right into music, and i slipped up to the front-ish. These guys spend a lot of time on the road; they mentioned this current tour (ending tonight with show #2 in Hali) has lasted over 10 weeks but they showed no signs of burnout and every time i see them - this time being no exception - they seem more tight and more "on" than the last time. You know what they say about practice... it holds up where Cuff the Duke is concerned.

Crowds can't resist the hometown shout-out. It may seem corny, but a "Halifax, you're awesome!" gets a big cheer every time I've witnessed it. The band was full of love for the east coast - "the best coast!" (cheer). Who cares if they say the same thing in every town, when they have just blown your mind for 6 minutes, you'd believe them if they said the sky was falling.

The show was worth the wait and then some. The amount of energy expended on the stage was staggering. I wondered more than once how those guys can do it every night. The experience of watching them play is phenomenal. This is no phoned in performance, it's an electric symphony.

I can't wait for tonight.

Whitesnake

Tonight I am going to do something i am not sure if i have ever done before.

Woo!

I'm going to a rock show by myself. Now, let's face it, I'm no stranger to hittin' up the bar solo, but we're talking about bars where i can pull up a chair, order a drink and meditate in the shadows.

Tonight there will be no sitting. If things go well, there could be a little foot tappin' or something. It's gonna be crowded... but my anticipation of the music will carry me through that one, i think.

It's a rock & roll weekend that started YESTERDAY at tribeca for the matt grimson display of genius. Tonight is Cuff the Duke.

Tomorrow night is Cuff the Duke.

And Sunday, sweet sunday.... is the day for all homework to be done.

Lord have mercy.

Amen!

Ray of...Light?

Well well.
I have been a very bad student, avoiding class and shamefully behind a deadline with a paper that may have just cost me 25% of my mark. Oh well, I am trying to be philosophical - i got myself into this and there is no point in whining. Just move forward. Today was an improvement.

I worked in the cash office tonight; training there has been touch and go as i felt completely overwhelmed and out of my league since my first training shift. However, tonight, i was pretty much left to my own devices and everything worked. I can't express what a relief this is. I feel like I may actually be able to do this job after all. Thank the lord.

In other ASS related news, we also got new work pants. This may seem a bit lame to the rest of you, but trust me, it is like gold. Gold, baby!!! These pants are like PJ's... they fit, they stretch, they do not automatically turn the wearer into a 50 year old moron. Praise the lord.

However, the best news of the day has nothing to do with school or with work. It has to do with SUNSHINE.

SUNSHINE, PEOPLE.

Maw, Paw, Little Brudder and myself are heading to CUBA for Christmas. It seems too good to be true, but i have just received confirmation that all systems are go and on December 22 I will be sleeping soundly by the beach in Varadero with my beloved kin. (and maybe also some beloved gin). A huge departure for us, but one that i think is long overdue. And only a MONTH AWAY! I feel like the luckiest gal alive.

This could be the boost i need to get me through the resta the semesta.

Peace out.

Musical Expeditionary

Bob, originally uploaded by c.e.s..

There is a lot to be learned from listening to what people have to say, and the way in which they say it. It all depends on what you are trying to get out of your experience on the planet. Complicated stuff.

I have been watching No Direction Home, the recent Scorsese documentary about Bob Dylan. It's incredible.

One thing I have learned in my own life is that some things do not have answers. The second half of Scorsese's film focuses on how the incessant questions of the press and the world at large got under Bob's skin. It's manic and cloying, and one truly gets a sense of the absurdity of it all.

Allen Ginsberg has some insightful thoughts as to why Bob failed to provide answers to all the people who wanted them.

You either get it or you don't. If you don't get it, the answer will not come to you by way of asking questions. Art is a form of observation, isn't it? Bob is already telling you how he feels about all that stuff, just listen.

Asking a musician why they create is like asking your neighbor why they go to the bathroom. Because they are compelled to do so. All experiences cannot be broken down into black and white.

The attempt at deconstruction belittles the affair. I have said before, and stand by it... experience is and should be. There's little to be gained from going any further. Asking "why" is not always the best strategy. Keep it simple. Acknowledge the subjectivity of truth and reality. Try not to go insane in the process.

There are a million quotes and moments in the movie that strike a chord with me. I'll offer up this one as food for thought, from the man himself:

"...what's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do."

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not after you...

Good Time Girls
Originally uploaded by c.e.s..

DRM this, Sony!
By Molly Wood, section editor, CNET.com
Thursday, November 3, 2005

I hope this is the week that everyone in the world finds out what a root kit is. And I hope it's a week we look back on in amazement, as we consider just how far Sony was willing to go to criminalize consumers in its efforts to preserve control over its product. Because I believe this is the week that Sony effectively declared war on the consumer, announcing what most of us had already suspected: fair use is a joke in the movie and record industry, and the companies who control mass-market content will truly stop at nothing to protect their profits.

We're not gonna take it
But let me start at the beginning. On Monday, October 31, alert users discovered that Sony BMG is using copy-protected CDs to surreptitiously install its digital rights management technology onto PCs. You don't have to be ripping the CD, either--just playing it from your CD-ROM drive triggers the installation. The software installs itself as a root kit, which is a set of tools commonly used to make certain files and processes undetectable, and they're the favored tool of crackers who are, as Wikipedia puts it, attempting to "maintain access to a system for malicious purposes." In fact, root kits are often classified alongside Trojan horses. And Mark Russinovich, who created a root-kit detection utility and was one of the first to blog about the Sony intrusion, discovered another little gem when he tried to remove the DRM drivers. It broke his computer--disabling his CD drive.

So, let's make this a bit more explicit. You buy a CD. You put the CD into your PC in order to enjoy your music. Sony grabs this opportunity to sneak into your house like a virus and set up camp, and it leaves the backdoor open so that Sony or any other enterprising intruder can follow and have the run of the place. If you try to kick Sony out, it trashes the place. And what does this software do once it's on your PC? Well, here is (via David Berlind's excellent breakdown of the issue) what Amazon's CD listing page has to say on the subject:

"This product limits your ability to make multiple digital copies of its content, and you will not be able to play this disc or make copies onto devices not listed as compatible. Content/copy protected CDs should allow limited burning, as well as ripping into secure Windows Media Audio formats for playback with most compatible media players and portable devices. In rare cases, these CDs may not be compatible with computer CD-ROM players, DVD players, game consoles, or car CD stereos, and often are not transferable to other formats like MP3."

So it's not just the black hat tactics. The DRM itself is almost unbelievably restrictive, and some have suggested that the reasoning behind it is part of Sony's ongoing war over digital music supremacy with the decidedly more supreme Apple. Here's how Engadget summarizes a recent article from Variety: "The new copy protection scheme--which makes it difficult to rip CDs and listen to them with an iPod--is designed to put pressure on Apple to open the iPod to other music services, rather than making it dependent on the iTunes Music Store for downloads." I wish I could say that was a joke, but apparently, it's not. In fact, some of the artists involved didn't give permission to Sony to use the backdoor DRM technology, and want no part of it. Amazing.

Happily, and despite the use of scary words like root kit, this story hit the Web in a big way. The PR for Sony is, shall we say, not good. By Wednesday, November 2, Sony had announced that it would, in conjunction with the company that developed this bad black hat idea in the first place (First4Internet) release a patch to antivirus companies so that hackers wouldn't, hopefully, be able to take advantage of the backdoor they just opened on your property. So, that solved the most immediate concern, but the only thing the patch does is reveal the antipiracy software. Presumably, you'd suffer the same PC-crippling effects if you tried to remove it, and Sony continues to insist, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, that its components weren't harmful in the first place. As for the insanely draconian copy protection--it's still cheerily intact.

Here's the full story with plenty of informative links about the technology, etc.

Eternal Circle

Tonight was the first time I had ever been inside the CBC building on Sackville Street. I thought I was late, but I rode up in the elevator with the parents of David Myles, who was sharing the bill with my pal Gabe and his sister Ruth. It was a taping for the Songwriters' Series on Atlantic Airwaves (Saturdays, 5pm, 90.5 on your FM dial in metro).

All three put on a great show. I should have something more interesting to say, but it is late and i am tired.

A+ evening.

Procrastination

Three screen names that you've had: ces, L0lita, Queenie

Three things you like about yourself: brain, passion, empathy

Three things you don't like about yourself: narcissism, volume, judgment

Three parts of your heritage: countries, cities, neuroses

Three things that scare you: people, politics, money

Three of your everyday essentials: coffee, music, sleep

Three things you are wearing right now: ring, necklace, socks

Three of your favorite songs: Desolation Row (Bob), Suzie Q (CCR), Baby One More Time (Britney)

Three things you want in a relationship: humour, passion, patience

Two truths and a lie: it's monday, it's November, I'm a virgin

Three things you can't live without: allies, lovers, water

Three places you want to go on vacation: Cuba, Greece, anywhere

Three things you just can't do: blow smoke rings, clean my apartment, get laid

Three kids' names: Freddy, Johnny, Susie

Three things you want to do before you die: find inner peace, spread outer peace, get married

Three celeb crushes: Joel Plaskett, Cuff the Duke, Neighborhood Hottie

Three of your favourite musicians: Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin, Nina Simone

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you: eyes, fingers, legs

Three of your favourite hobbies: sex, drugs, rock and roll

Three things you really want to do badly right now: sleep, get a massage, do my homework

Three careers you're considering/you've considered: international aid worker, groupie, housewife

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy: slobby, crude, obsessed with dicks

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl: can't leave house without mascara, let emotions rule my every move, love all things that have to do with Princess Di

Three people that I would like to see post this meme: mo, carocuz, Stephanie Klein

Organized Chaos

Well, i just wrote my 2nd poli sci midterm. I bombed the first one, as i was completely unprepared. Completely my own doing, or undoing as the case may be. I resolved to be prepared for this one - the class is interesting, the prof is great, the text is engaging. I just don't read it. I have become relatively skilled at online Texas Hold'Em though.

I planned for this exam. That is a new thing for me. I booked Tuesday night off work for the sole purpose of staying home and reading. As it turns out, because of my fucked up sleeping patterns, i also skipped all my classes on tuesday (including poli sci), to stay home and study. I did study all day, but my progress was remarkably slow as i attempted to catch up on the myriad forms of feminism, positivism, post-colonialism, cosmopolitanism, communitarionism and all their dissidents. Is there nothing better to do with our time than invent circuitous and rhetorical theories so that we can label thim with post-neo subtelties!? Argh. It was a frustrating day.

In the back of my head, i knew those things probably wouldn't be on the exam. The prof herself is far more interested in security, human rights, the UN, the US etc... i don't blame her either, it's good stuf. Anyway, the point is, i wasted my pre-planned study day on bullshit that i didn't need to know.

And i wasted lots of last night being social. And lots of this morning wasting time.

But. I think I did okay. It is somewhat of a relief that without massive amounts of reading, i actually have a fairly good idea what i am talking about. I'm not sure how well i put it down on paper, and no doubt a little more preparation would have eased that process. I'm not expecting a great mark, either. But i didn't bomb it, and i can now move onto the next crisis (papers, due monday, not started) with a clear mind about this one.

Misguided Angel

Synchronicity.

The fall has always been my favorite. I love the colours, the light, the smells, the thickness of the air. I like the vibe of the fall.

I've been in a bad ass mood and it's been tough to shake. But tonight I'm smiling from the depths.

Gabe said "she makes me laugh every day and it's great".

And I know exactly what he means, because of him.

I just felt the fall into winter become a little cushioned.

The Language That He Used

While lying in bed trying to figure out what it was that had me so unsettled, i think i figured out why school isn't "doing it" for me. I don't feel like i am following any particular calling by being in school. I haven't found any awesome chemistry, intellectual or otherwise, there (which is a huge disappointment. i was hoping school would inspire me to learn, instead it frustrates me with questions. which perhaps is the learning process. but i digress).

The thing that interests me most, that is the thing from which i derive the most satisfaction in life, is sharing deep connections and experiences with other people. The times from my past that i view as momumental are times when i have been in relationships that forced me to think and opened up the door for new discoveries. I'm not just talking about guys, either. Driving to Winnipeg with Stacy ranks high on the list of things that have made life worth living, and that is as deep and connected as i am with any lover.

I think my restlesness right now stems from solitude. This is a recurring theme, but i mean it differently somehow. It's not just about a man. It's about not being by yourself every day, talking to the walls, bouncing your ideas off thin air. If I am going to make it through the winter, it is something that needs to be remedied. I've been in a state of stasis for too long. I want to go places.

My favorite class this year is Spanish. It's hard as hell. I thought it would be easy, because I speak French, but i was very wrong about that. I love it, though. I love dissecting the construction of sentences, i love the logic of verb conjugation, i love the turns of phrase and where they come from.

Words have always intrigued me on many levels. I talk a lot. But i also listen closely.

The Darkness is coming. Not the band, but the season. I don't know if that is the reason for my latest round of malaise, but that's what i'm attributing it to. I'm up all night again and sleeping way too late. Everything's out of whack. My speakers are on the fritz. I feel skittish about the winter; i feel like it's going to be a hard one.

I just hope it's quick.

Time Changes

What makes the wind wanna blow tonight? Don't even feel like crossing the street and my car ain't actin' right. Called home, everybody seemed to have moved away. My conscience is beginning to bother me today. I need a shot of love, I need a shot of love. I need a shot of love, I need a shot of love. If you're a doctor, I need a shot of love.